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5 shitty places to spend your perfect valentine's day

Still looking for inspiration for that shitty valentine? Scored a last-minute Tinder date and he/she/x asks you to pick a place? Want to spice up your boring old love-life with an original valentine’s date? Don’t worry, the Shitty Guide got you covered!

Follow our directions and you’re guaranteed to impress your sweetheart. Cupido will hit you with that arrow before you can say sexually transmitted diseases.

  1. Wah-Kel



    Start of with a nice dinner: how about a Chinese restaurant smack bang in the middle of the Antwerp red light district? After that you can playfully do the “who would you pick for a treesome” game. That’s our idea of romance right there. 

    Find out more

  2. Cinema Royal



    After dinner, it’s time to go see a movie. Cinema Royale is the place to be. These cinema seats have seen a lot, so don’t be shy now. However be careful, you might end up leaving the place with more than one date.

    Let's get on with it

  3. Café Strange

    Now it’s time to get wasted asap. Impress your date with the fact that you know Armand, the oldest bar-tender in town (84 and still going strong). Ask Armand to tell you and your date stories about his youthful adventures in public swimming pools.

    Let's make things awkward

  4. Tipanan Karaoke



    You’ve done plenty of shots and also you’re done talking. Time to start singing! Nothing says romance like screaming “don’t you want me baby” at the top of your lungs in this Philippine karaoke bar. The name of this joint means “date between two lovers”. Perfect. Just perfect.

    Other instant wins are: 'Angels' by Robbie Williams, 'Teenage Dirt Bag' by Weatus, 'You're beautiful' by James Blunt.

    Let's make things even more awkard

  5. Kinky’s



    Good, time to get down to the real deal. Don’t do the dirty deed on the street like you’re used to, trying go to this fetish gay sex club. There’s plenty of options to choose from! Do remember, in this place, sharing is caring.

    the morning after this is going to be extremely awkward

After a first date like that, you’re guaranteed to get a second. Once again, the Shitty Guide has got your sorry ass covered. Come join us on sunday 19/02 for the Shitty Valentijn Cupido’s Matinee at one of our regular bars, de Vogelenzang. We’re looking forward to hear your sad and shitty valentine’s stories.

Qué?

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